You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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