I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Houston, we have a blender
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
