Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
