ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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