I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize