I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize