That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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