I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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