so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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