ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
