I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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