i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
