so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
