the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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