I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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