People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
