We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize