dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
