escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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