You're so nebulous sometimes
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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