His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
