Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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