just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize