Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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