Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
