I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
