I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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