Can i not drive my cunt home
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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