Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I would ride that face into the sunset
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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