Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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