Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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