And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
