I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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