me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
