remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
