He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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