As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
