i already hear my dad disowning me
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
