Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
