don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
