Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
