im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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