you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
