it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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