Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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