She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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