You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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