Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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