is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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