it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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