70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize