last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I FOUND THE LEGS
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
