Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
how drunk are you?
Several
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
