i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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