He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
