Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
