This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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