he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
