we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
